HELP – How do I tell my sister that her husband is pressuring me for sex?


Dear Kinnaka,

I will like to start by saying how much I admire your maturity, passion and hard work. You have built something incredible from nothing and is still going as strong as always, despite losing your mother. You are an inspiration to many and hopefully you can find time to mentor some of our young girls who look up to you.

Please help me share my story on your platform – I am in a difficult situation.

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My father died before I was born and my ‘followed’ him when I was just 15-year-old. My elder sister, who happens to be the only sibling I have, became a mother figure in my life.

Two years ago, she reconnected with her high school love and they got married last year in October. My sister is currently 7 month pregnant and I can’t wait to be an auntie.

While my sister was away from home about two months ago, I was confuse and in shock when my sister’s husband told me he is sexually attracted to me. At first I thought it was a joke but he has forcefully touched my breast twice when my sister was not home.

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I have been dodging him and lock myself in my room every night. I am torn between telling myself or leaving the house. The big problem is, I have no way to go as I am still loving for a job since my graduation from UB in 2015.

Our pastor(Female) asked me not to tell my sister and also advised me to give her husband a stern warning. I have done all this but he wouldn’t stop.

My sister is beginning to notice my change in behavior but the pastor keeps insisting that telling her will destroy her.

What should I do KB readers? Keep pretending like nothing is wrong or tell my sister?

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  1. Sometimes the truth is hard to say,I believed your sister may understand you more than any.The pastor is protecting your sister married. The time is now for you to tell her the truth. Honestly she will try to protect her husband what about you that is the victim. My dear sister please tell you sister the truth before things get out of hand before you,yourself can handle.I believed she will understand the pain you are going through.

  2. Telling your sister is not an option
    If only the story is true then go back to the pastor and tell the pastor to call the man and talk to him and tell him that is out of love for your sisters feelings that u don’t want her to hear if the man is wise he will adjust and ask u for forgiveness and life cames to normal but if he is a foolish man trust me he will he will one day be caught by ur sis her self with another woman then will ur sis know the man he is my sister my sis trust me if u tell her even you will have a problem
    1-if they get back together after u have told her you will be a thread that time
    2-if she ever gets another man she will not see it secure for you to be near the new man not that they don’t trust u just that she does not want the past to repeat itself
    Also on the other hand the truth never hides but don’t tell her now nature will find a way of revealing who the man is

  3. Why are you contemplating whether to tell your sister or not? The very day or time he made the move the first thing you were supposed to do was to call of his bull Shit at once and made it clear to your sister that her husband is approaching you. Keeping it a secret only means you’re considering giving into his demands or you think your sister won’t trust your version of the story if you open up to her and that may be the reason her husband is approaching you cuz if you are decent girl and he’s aware of the fact that if he tries something like that with u then you’re going to tell you sister and that would have wiped the thought of doing that from his mind. But it only happened cuz you made room for it and worst still you’re keeping it a secret from your sister.

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  6. This is a tough one. Sometimes people are not prepared to hear the truth and may lash out. I think that you owe it your sister to tell her the truth about the man she is married to. She may accept the truth in love, or she may accuse you of seducing him, or trying to break up the marriage. You mentioned a pastor, so I feel safe to tell you to spend time in prayer and wait for the Holy Spirit to guide you with the wisdom required for this kind of situation.

    Amber S. |


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