HELP! I hate sex with my husband, it feels like rape


Hello Kinnaka,

Thank you for having created such a platform where women like myself can come here and seek advice without having to open up to “friends” or “family members” that are judgmental and gossips.
Since the birth of our daughter 23 months ago, I am no longer interested in sex. My husband lies in bed and says: ‘I know what it is – you’re not attracted to me any more.’ I have tried to tell him that it’s nothing personal, that I love him, but just don’t feel like having sex with him or anyone else and he just can’t understand that! We used to have a vigorous sex life – three to four times a week. However, after the birth of our first child, I don’t have any urges to have sex and even when I try for him, it is painful and I cannot even get wet enough.

It has caused a massive tension between us. I feel like if I don’t seek help it will be the end of our 5-year-old marriage. Have any KB reader experienced these feelings after child birth? What can I do to get my urges back?

I will be reading the comments…Thanks in advance.


    • What the hell is wrong with some of us… You know what they say? If you don't have something nice then say nothing! This lady is evidently in trouble and is seeking help. in case you didn't notice she admitted she's three problem and is willing to make things right and the best you can do is castigate her… Keep shaking your empty head.
      My dear sister maybe you should Google or go on to YouTube you just might find something there. If possible go for counseling. I pray you're able to safe your marriage

  1. Hey Girl you are not alone in that issue I haven't had any sexual urge towards my husband in a very long while almost a year at first I thought it was stress from work but I gradually realised even when I was relaxed it wasn't going. It got worse when I got attracted to another guy we never has sex but we flirted lots coz he seemed to be the only person keeping me emotionally happy slowly my marriage became a struggle I love my husband and I don't want to loose him but I don't feel it any longer I just don't know how to handle it. Thanks for sharing and know that you are not alone . Hope someone can help us with some great advice

    • Sorry you ladies for the struggle…I think you have guys have taken your minds of your husbands and redirected your attention some where else…think again about why you fell in love with him and fall in love all over again. Flirting with some other guy just makes it even more difficult…see a counselor too…sharing with someone you have no family nor friendship ties, a complete stranger but a professional should do you good

  2. It happens… Am not married but i have had a frnd w such a situation… My advice to you is you should look at those things dt ur husband used to do dt turned u own and try to get him to do them again…. Again u cld go for counseling to but either way, u guys should change ur approaches at ur sexual life and surprise each oda.


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