His Money Has Made me a prisoner! What Should I Do?

17
Thanks, Kinnaka’s blog, for letting me use your platform to express my worries.
I met my boyfriend in Bamenda Main Market, Cameroon, while selling products from my parents’ farm. I had just passed my A-Levels with good grades. My mother was so excited and told everyone who came by to buy from us about my results. Che (not his real name) seemed to be very keen about me and asked my mother which university I would be going to. My mother told him I was not to attend university because they could not afford it.


Che passed by a few times to buy things and the next thing I knew was that we were in a relationship. A few months into the relationship, he told my parents he wanted to sponsor my university education from his taxi business savings and profits. My parents were very excited and I couldn’t wait to start school.


Che often came to visit me in Buea and we had a very strong relationship. During my last year I met Daniel (not real name) and instantly fell for him. This made me realise that I was not really in love with Che but instead felt gratitude for everything he had done for me. I told Daniel about Che. He was not very happy at first but told me to tell Che my true feelings because it was unfair to keep him hopeful. And if he would ask for all the money he had spent to be refunded, Daniel would offer me support. Daniel was from a wealthy home. His family was in the France and he was schooling and controlling the family businesses at the same time.

I was planning to open up to Che during the Christmas holidays but before I could muster the courage to go ahead, he had already asked my dad for my hand in marriage. Daniel wants to marry me, too, and is getting impatient. I love him and don’t want to lose him. However, I am so worried about hurting Che since he has been nothing but kind to me. Yet I don’t want to marry out of pity or gratitude. Che deserves a woman who will love him for who he is and not for the things he has done for her. 

I don’t know what to do, please help me!

17 COMMENTS

  1. I had a similar experience. Initially i thought i liked him but a few months after i knew something was wrong. Thank God i realized it few months after. I stopped everything after my first semester in the University. Then started a call box and also had a small vegetable farm that i,made money from to support me. It was'nt easy so what i did was, i prayed alot and went to church constantly. Finally i graduated. My little piece of advice please try to work hard and dont use some one's money for your success. If you dont like the person dont take especially money from that person because you will be guilty for the rest of your life uf at all you have a conscience. And to the girl in question, i think you should take your time. Maybe you,just prefer Daniel's money and his social statues. Take your time from both of them and meditate about all this. Dont hurry and regret later in life

    • HARDWORKING GIRL.. thanks for sharing your experience.

      You were honest and looked up vertically. May God bless you for sharing this journey, for being candid, honest. May you be an entrepreneur and vital person in the society where ever you go.

      Truly look up to God. and even your enemy will help you.
      You are really what Jesus said in the Bible, you didn't bury your talent. You made use of what you got and started with something and God blessed you.
      Courageous woman … applaud applaud

  2. All I can say is that you are Entangled. The easiest way out is to learn to love Che. If you go for Daniel and he consequently refunds the money, then know that HE IS BUYING YOU OFF and as a result you may just be a property that has changed Hands. But anyway, if you really think that you are In Love, then pray REALLY HARD FOR CHE TO UNDERSTAND. BECAUSE IF NA ME I NO GO UNDERSTAND. Good luck. My Respects.

  3. Haha! Daniel is nobody my dear. Che is the real guy for you! Reason being! Daniel has nothing on it own but Che is a well establish guy. so better think well girl.

  4. This girl's playing games. Are you sure you met Daniel in your final year ? Stick to Che or pay all his money in one shot or face your karma

  5. Decisions Decisions
    Thanks for being honest
    "he passed by a few times to buy things and the next thing I knew was that we were in a relationship. A few months into the relationship, he told my parents he wanted to sponsor my university education from his taxi business savings"

    You started dating him before you went to school.
    Well loneliness at school has brought you Daniel. Daniel needs to respect your relationship. You attract what you got as you were also not forthcoming from the onset with your relationship with Daniel.
    My dear get out of the trouble you entangled yourself. You dating Che is it not the same loneliness that creep-ed in.

    You need to work on your self esteem and receive God's love and know you are loved on your own not validated by a relationship.
    The issue at hand is not Che or Daniel it's You.

  6. My dear I worry for you ooh. I remember the case of the girl in ENS bambili who was killed after dumping her taxi man who sponsored her thru secondary school to university. You are treading on dangerous ground. You found a richer man and now want to dump someone who has been there for you in difficult times. Trust me you are after Daniels wealth and it will change if u meet a richer man and so the trend continues. I can't say for him but Che will be hurt and such people might be too irrational and do things dat will have dire consequences. Have you discussed with your mom to know what she thinks. In my opinion if Che treats you well stick with him simple. Langar throat for money no good. Better still put everything in prayers. I feel sad for Che and in all honesty I won't support my brother sponsoring any gurl. My uncle sponsored his ex wife for 8 years and she ended up calling him an illiterate and dumped him since my uncle didn't make it to the university. It's bad really bad

  7. Hardly give comments but this one I couldn't resist being honest with u girl. U really do need to take a break from both men, pray hard n ask God for wisdom to make d right decision. Being honest with u, I think u claim to be in love with Daniel simply becuz he's educated like u n from a wealthy family. U now can't see ur self a university graduate marrying a taxi driver. But don't forget Che polished u up n made u who u r today when u were nothing. U loved him then, n now u claim u suddenly just realised it wasn't love. Be careful my dear else u might end up in a mess. Don't be ashamed of ur true love just becuz he made u to b a better person than him. U on another hand, even if u r ashamed, can make him what u want him to b just like he did for u. He can also go back to school while u support him when u r stabilised n he will b that perfect polished guy like Daniel. Che is ur true love, plz don't make d biggest mistake of ur life by leaving him, it's dangerous. Trust me, if Daniel was another taxi driver, u won't have fallen in love with him. U might end up not happy n in a wrong relationship cuz if d next person comes to seek ur hand in marriage who is a bushfaller, u will now say u just realised u didn't love Daniel cuz u now want to fall bush n be a better person. Girl, u n Che can be whatever u want n reach wherever u want to be. So be wise in ur decision. Thanks n good luck.

  8. I think you are in love with money and not with any of the men. If a richer guy comes your way you will forget about your present love. If you want to be truly in love break up with both men and pray for a God-fearing life partner. Che is a good guy. Most men don't sponsor women for fear of the unknown like in your case. Because he sponsored you, you need to pray hard that he forgives you in case you break his heart. If I may ask, why did you not tell Che about Daniel? Daniel will break your heart ''big time'' and call you a whore because that is what you are.

  9. My dear you are not the first person to be in that type of situation. Let go of Daniel for some time and hang out with che, he is willing to grow intellectually by your side. Trust me, Daniel will be okay. But I mean all this time why did you tell che you loved him? Look, love the one who loves you most. If Daniel is your man mother nature will do her job to reunite you two. Poor che…

  10. Hmm this is almost my situation sad but I believe many people have been in situations like this , it's easy to pass judgements wen u were never entangled like this , my ex boyfriend was a very handsome guy and I loved him, ladies use to go after him , but he chose me, treated me like a princess and practically worshipped the ground I walked on, but he struggled with studies a lot and dropped out of school when he could not make the Gce o/l, after dropping he pursued a career in football and played in first division teams in Cameroon but sadly age was not on his side and he has ended at the Cameroon level where the pay is very meagre, me on the other hand continued with my education right through my first degree and went on to have my masters abroad, while abroad I began to realise that although my ex was very handsome he had little or nothing else to offer as I was way educated than him , his English bad and I felt embarrassed introducing him to my freinds and gradually my love for him reduced to almost nothing , a year after I distanced myself from him I met this other guy my present partner, very educated like myself ,is well to do and can take care of a woman , I tot I was in love with him and went on to have a child with him. But if am being honest here people am beginning to realised I only loved the fact that we had the same statusquo, he is not as handsome as my ex, he loves me but doesn't neccarily give me that pricessy treat like my ex , he's the best dad my son could ever ask for , his entire family is lovely to me and all, buteven though am with him I wish I had helped my ex or forced to continue his education which he was too proud to do becos he tot he couldn't go back to school becos of his age,or do some business which would have made him still appealing to me. I think I love him more than my present partner but it's too late given I don't want my child to loose his dad or grow up without his two parents. I am not a very happy woman becos I still love my ex,status blinded me.
    My dear, I advise u to stick with che or search ur heart deeply to see whom u truely love, take a break a think properly, make no rush decision before u end up regretting all ur life.
    Actually I think I need help too KB readers

    • Madame, you need to love yourself first before investing in others. Accept God loves you and meditate on his unconditional love. that will fill the void you are seeking from mankind.

      I don't know the heart of your ex boyfriend. But lots of stories and as for me personally. Have shown men have ego's. And will like to hustle for their own. It's merely 1% who will take the assistance of partner and stick with them through thick and thin. Most men get what they want and their ego heightens their insecurities. They like another woman to worship them. So they leave the woman who saw them during the low.

      Check out on this blog Bali man.

      If you want to help someone make sure your are not emotionaly invested in. You are helping that you should help.

      Follow your instinct. I don't know for sure the future with your ex but when you act on your instinct not fear. Life goes smoothly. Who knows you might have intimidated him with your big books and the fact you were embarrassed next to him. You didn't add anything in his life but highlighted his flaws. You weren't meant for him. all you thinking about is what you can get from him. He worshiped the ground I walked. How did you show you love him.

      Please you need Jesus Christ!

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